funny bathroom story
One time I was waiting in line for the bathroom at Ryowa. I could tell there was a mom and her daughter taking their time in there, but after awhile I realized they were having a problem with something. Well, they were flushing the toilet a lot. They were speaking in Japanese, so I couldn’t quite tell what was going on, but then the door creaked open and the mom said, “Sorry!...
at the creamery
Erin: Oh! My friend and I were figuring ways to cut calories on our way to work. We realized that -
Patrick: You can cut calories if you take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Erin: What! I didn't even finish my sentence, how did you know? Did I tell you this before?
Patrick: No, I just know well enough that it's the "Erin" thing to do.
Jon: Aren't there like, 30 stories?
Erin: It's only 5 minutes more and totally worth the effort.
Jon: Wow. I can totally see you doing that.
Kyle: Wait, where are you working this summer?
Erin: JP. *smiles*
Patrick: She means, JP Morgan.
Patrick: In New York. Manhattan. Mid-town. Tall building. That JP Morgan.
Kyle: Thanks...for the clarification.
Patrick: No problem!
Jon: I heard you ran, like every day?
Erin: Yeah, during dinner, and definitely not every day.
Johnny: Dude. Erin is a tank.
When I’ll take my clients out to dinner, I’m going to take them to...– PH
I love how much of a workaholic you are, it’s inspiring!– DJL
a random fight
Guy1: Fight me! Fight me! Why won't you fight me?
Guy2: 'Cuz I got a career!
When Sawyer and I first met you we went to your Facebook Info page and just...– PK
My relationship with Microsoft Excel includes much profanity.– ECP
Edwin: Why are you still up? (3:32 AM)
Erin: I'm gonna be pulling 5:30AM nights these next few days, got a lot of things due all in one week.
Edwin: I like being surrounded by intense people.
getting asked out
Math Prof: Are you the girl who dropped my class?
Erin: Yes I am.
Math Prof: Bad bad bad. How did you end up on my gmail chat?
Erin: I sent you an email before about transfer credits, so we must've ended up on each other's gchats.
Math Prof: Too bad you dropped my class, it was quite fun :) At least for me.
Erin: I do remember some lectures were enjoyable. I had a ton to do this quarter but I'll be taking more math classes in the future - 131/132 and eventually, 180 :)
Math Prof: So there is one thing I wanted to ask you but never got the chance.
Math Prof: I have always thought that we were smart and cute :) and wanted to ask you out, but you were my "student".
Erin: I'm sorry, I already have a boyfriend :)
Math Prof: It's ok, I'm actually dating many people right now anyways.
Erin: You can friend me on facebook and we can keep in touch!
Math Prof: I guess you're the monogamous type.
Math Prof: Oh well. Then it would not have worked anyways.
Bonds are like fish. No, actually, bonds are like salmon.– My Money & Banking Professor
Here are some grapes for you dear! I made sure they were *juicy* and *turgid*...– AJL
i am baroque
Jonathan: Have you found a marathon yet?
Erin: I can't register for a marathon. I'm broke.
Jonathan: What? I thought you were making money?
Erin: But I invested it all in stocks that haven't exceeded their fair value yet so I can't liquidate anything. So I'm broke!
Jonathan: Oh right, you're "that" kind of broke.
spontaneous road trip
Alex: Let's go down to LA to see Jackie! Spontaneous road trip?
Erin: I'd LOVE to go. I can't do it spring break though - want to do it sometime next quarter?
Alex: Um...I was thinking more like now. Spring break is not spontaneous. That would be planned.
Ivan found himself daydreaming during these diatribes, wondering how Robyn would...– My Econ101 private equity case study
me i'm makin' money
Travis: So when you were doing the financial statements I noticed you were listening to music. I thought you would be listening to classical music, but when I listened closely, it was like rap!
Erin: You know what song it was? It goes, "Dolla dolla bills, dolla dolla dolla bills yall!"
Travis: Hahaha, I did not expect that. Seriously, I thought classical.
Erin: Yes, I'm in touch with my inner gangsta. And I'm teaching Ella!
guess what with zubair
Erin: Guess what!
Zubair: You made a million dollars today.
Erin: No silly, guess again.
Zubair: You ran all the way down the Pacific coast.
Zubair: Ok it's SOME variation of the above two stated events.
Erin: I need to get into more contemporary literature. It's just...so hard. I might not like it.
Diane: If you go to Amazon and type in a book you like, you can usually find a list of similar ones.
Erin: Great idea! Let me try that right now. *five minutes later*
Diane: Erin, may I remind you that OVID'S METAMORPHOSES is not contemporary?!!
Erin: Damn it.
Justin: I heard this brainteaser. It goes, "Which way does a shower curtain lean when you turn on the water?"
Travis: I don't use a shower curtain.
facebook and the parental units
Elise: Did ya'll get that facebook suggestion from mom to add dad as a friend? Am I the only one who is ignoring that for now?
Eleine: LOL I haven't gotten that.
Elise: Um, probs because mom is never on the internets and dad would defs stalk my facebook and be like, "Who are all these boys?! What are all these parties?! My daughter is partying too much!"
Erin: No, I totally have more "us" pictures on my facebook.
Nicolai: Let's count. ... I have four. And you have four. We're even!
Erin: Good, now take yours as a percentage of your total photos and compare that to mine as a percentage of total photos. Who has a higher percentage?
Erin: This is why I'm in finance.
how did you choose your boyfriend?
Erin: When evaluating firms, I list out all their desired characteristics, weight them and then rank those characteristics on a scale of 1-10 before adding up their cumulative value and ranking them. You should try it!
Shahryar: So Erin, how did you choose your boyfriend?
Erin: So, I'm starting to learn how to dress better. I feel like I'm getting good at it now.
Nicolai: I can tell.
Nicolai: Yes, now you wear leggings with short sleeve shirts, leggings with long sleeve shirts, leggings with button-up shirts, leggings with boots -
Erin: Shut up!
things i'm into right now
making ambiance-themed play lists figuring out the weekend row scene hard core scenic long distance weekend runs how to make a ritz-carlton luxury bed how to steam milk on my espresso machine properly starting a poster collection studying abroad in florence & learning italian picking up random rare & classical texts at the library cracking & trading stocks in the gaming...
typical mom & sister dialogue
Mother: *drops ice cube on floor*
Me: Mom, please don't use that!
Mother: Why not? *rinses cube*
Me: Mom! Do you do that all the time? What do you FEED me?!
Mother: What? You're healthy!
gotta love me some leveraged sellout
In preparation, he methodically lays out a different pair of pastel or seersucker shorts and a polo for each of the three days. He tries on each outfit with a different set of Oliver Peoples sunglasses and saunters out into the living room of his 4-man apartment. “Sugar in the RAW, motherfuckers!” he announces, wings spread, bouncing to his own beat. He reaches into his pocket and tosses a few...
I was going to type “superbowl” into Google but ended up typing...– JX
Marathon in Texas in September? Are you crazy?! It’s going to be 80...– JM
Is ok! We all has internships!– DJL
I told my friends about Lazard and they were like, what? Do you mean Lizard?– JX
Bring daddy’s credit card. The shopping district is nearby!– AT
I am moved.
Erin: I drank too much coffee. I'm hyper now!
Patrick: I don't drink coffee. I believe it messes with your mind.
Erin: You have scientific proof for that?
Patrick: Yeah. They put these spiders on caffeine and the spiders couldn't weave their webs properly.
Erin: I know spiders rise from the dead. You can drown them and 48 hours later they're alive again.
Patrick: Then they weren't dead in the first place.
Erin: Yes they were! Their hearts stopped beating.
Patrick: Just because our hearts stop from beating every other second doesn't mean we're dead.
Erin: I mean "stopped beating" as a prolonged experience. The carbon dioxide will kill us.
Patrick: Yeah, well, then spiders are just more efficient.
Erin: They're still dead.
Patrick: Their heart will continue beating. Therefore, they are not dead.
Erin: Ok. Fine. No use in trying to persuade you further.
Patrick: I'm sorry to have taken you down this path Erin.
Erin: Well, at least if they ask you to talk about something interesting that's not on your resume you can talk about spiders!
After a certain point, you need to choose. You don’t need 8 girlfriends....– JWM
Joanna: You're the most rational person I know - I bet you're rational even when you're emotional!
Erin: Haha yeah it's like A > B > C but with tears in between!
the unwashed masses
the unwashed masses: the collective group of people who are considered by someone to be somehow uneducated, uninformed, godless, or in some way unqualified for inclusion in the speaker’s elite circles
One day I read a history textbook before I went to sleep and I had such boring...– DJL